YET ANOTHER SURPRISE

When we decided to move to Huntsville from North Texas, there was great hope. Hope of better jobs, better homes, better opportunities....  We're still waiting.

And, in turn, what we have recieved has not been pretty. In fact, I keep thinking of the image from the film 'Grapes of Wrath'.Same sort of 'oh crap/what have we done' moment I suppose.

The symbolism of the turtle in this film seems to echo on how we feel at the moment. If you have seen this film you will remember the turtle attempting to move across the dirt road. The first car attempts to swerve to miss it causing the turtle to pull himself inside his shell. When he feels the way is clear, he pokes out and continues on. The second driver makes a point to hit the turtle and catches the edge of his shell causing the turtle to flip onto his back. After he struggles with all of his appendages to get back to his underside once again, he keeps going, never knowing what outside factors will be next to deter him from his journey.

This symbolism is clear to the Joad family as well. Outside factors, not factors of their own doing, have caused their lot in life and outside factors are what steers their decisions.

I know this feeling all too well these days. As soon as we arrived, outside factors have worked against us as well. From the first night when the utility company refused to turn on the electricity because it was a 3 day holiday to fighting employers(and soon-to-be employers) and now our last outside factor that has put a damper to the holidays.

My husband of 20+ years have been stricken with severe diabetes. So severe that he now must undergo hyperbaric oxygen therapy(best explanation: the machine Micheal Jackson put himself)

Gary's treatment is an attempt to save his foot. He has lost most of his big toe due to the diabetes. He is now on a lot of serious meds and soon to begin insulin injections. He is on a no-salt, no-sugar, no-red meat and no-a-lot-of-other-things diet. Ciggarettes, a life-long obsession, have been dumped cold-turkey(something I could never get him to do). No cokes, no chocolate(we learned the hard way that even sugar free chocolate triggers his addiction to tobacco) and no to anything he likes.

After several doctors, hospital and clinic visits and regular trips to a wound surgery center, we have learned all about how outside factors affect one's future. Our holiday is nill due to finances which makes hard on the girls who won't have a tree much less gifts. Paper chains and homemade poinsettas just don't seem to cut it. Hard lesson to learn at such an early age. Their words say that the understand but as a parent I know differently. Yet outside factors leave me helpless to change it since every farthing I earn goes to keeping a roof overhead and lights turned on.

We thought, like the Joads, that we were heading to a new beginning in a positive way. Sometimes bad pushes through to make a way for good. Gary has ended his whoa-is-me attitude to actually attempt to focus on the future. And he hasn't cheated once on his diet which is a miracle unto itself.

We've accepted that he won't be able to find a job until the first of the year. He's accepted that his life has changed for good aka no ice cream is better than no life. Yule, we cant do anything about but then ours werent over-the-top anyway. Since we don't have TV then I think there won't be reminders of what the girls are missing.

There is one big lesson we have all learned from this....

Outside factors are a bitch! :)

Paranormal or Just Pain?

For the past month I have been dealing with a great deal of pain. I always have pain during the winter months living in North Texas since I have osteo arthritis. THAT seems to encompass my feet especially my left foot. Since I am left-handed, that makes a lot of sense. The burning sensation can be overwhelming especially when I work nights in customer service.

But now separate symptoms have arisen which has perplexed me. Excruciating pain in my right shoulder muscle that goes up to into that side of the neck and finally ends up in pain on the same side of my head. I cannot bend over without pain.

Now I work several jobs: my own craft/gift business, as a teacher and part-time nights in customer service for Wal-mart. I have a deep inset feeling that I will eventually have to give up my job in retail, which isn't good because I need the money. I have come to believe that it has a lot to do with the house that I live in.

The reason that I say the latter is because my house is haunted. Since we made the decision to leave and move across the state, negative things have been happening. Not once or twice, but several events have been ocurring. I feel that possibly this unknown pain that doctors cannot diagnose, is caused by spirits not wanting us to leave.

A psychic friend has stated that there are several spirits who are attracted to us because two adults and 1 teenager are sensitives and the house contains 4 cats and 1 dog which brings a great deal of light or energy. That light is something our spirits seem to desire and definitely doesn't want leaving.

We have done everything from calling in psychic friends to having a cleansing ritual. For a time, the negativity and hence the pain will lift but will return.

We are moving at the end of the month. Hopefully, the pain and negativity will stay behind.

Back in June, I blogged about a tarot reading that I had done that touted that big changes would come within 6 months. It kept mentioning the autumn when this would occur.

Now it is happening in big ways. We are moving across the state from North Texas to the town of alma mater, Huntsville Texas. It's only a five-hour trip but when moving, it is so much more.

Since we are moving to a college town the ability to find decent housing has been, well, interesting. The fall semester doesn't begin until August 20 and most of the housing for anything larger than a 2-bedroom has been drying up quickly.So much so, that we rented a house side unseen. The only thing that we have seen on this house has been the outside thank to google maps.

Attempting to pack has also been a chore since I've had to work and pack basically at the same time. Not exactly an easy chore in a two-story house. The majority of the dining room has become a storage room for items going into a garage sale and the living room now houses what it going into storage here.

Moving is not cheap my friend. It has been over ten years since our last move and it shocked me to find out that a U-Haul rental one way will be over $500! So we're storing the non-essential(not needed for daily living) items here and will return for them before December.

Why December? That is when our lease is up! Welcome to college central and the land of of 4-1/2 months. The entire time we'll be living in the unseen-house, we'll be seeking out a NEW house and definitely one with more space. Did I mention  that we're housing 5 people these days? The husband and I, two teenagers and one friend. We've rented our 2nd story to a friend in dire need and now we're bringing him with us.

So when the tarot reading said big changes she wasnt kidding. But changes are always good for the soul. And these changes have been especially good for us. The town, the house and the general negative energy that has surrounded us has eaten away at us to the point that Gary and I had pretty much given up.

The town is dying economically and our emotional and psychological lives have paralleled it. Now we have felt new energy that has driven us to choose the place with the most pleasureable experiences. Thank the Gods it's only 5 hours away into of 500.

So moving will be an 'adventure' as my autistic daughter likes to say. And never again will my husband ever doubt tarot readings again!

I had a tarot reading done several months ago in which I was told of great changes to come. Traveling was involved and it meant closing one door and opening another in a big way.

How true. How true.

For the naysayer I will only say never doubt. In the following months I will be preparing to move…a big move with big changes. I’m about to, once again, burn up I-45 going from North Texas to the Houston area; more particularly Huntsville, Texas.

The move will affect everyone here from my husband down to the kids. The ones who will have the roughest time with be the autistic daughter who doesn’t handle change well and my husband who REALLY doesn’t like change at…all!  He has fought me on this for a while. However, the youngest is thrilled because she had already decided to attendSamHoustonStateand I will be going ‘home’.Conroe, the town next door toHuntsville, is my hometown and I have not lived there for almost 30 years. (don’t do the math please; that would just be too painful).

The background of this story is the fact that our elderly landlady relinquished control of her finances to her adult daughter. It didn’t seem so bad until she began driving the hour-and-a-half to our house demanding money that had already been mailed. We both had the feeling that this would not have a happy ending.

It didn’t. The daughter now believes she’s going to rake in some big bucks on the house and the two lots that it sits on. In a economically depleted area there is not a big chance of that.  But I wish her well in endeavor.

That leaves us hustling to get out of here by mid-August and moving acrossTexaswhich will take a lot of organization on my part. The husband is ticked off because I see this as a gate opening to a new life; a more prosperous one. He sees it as change, change and more change. Not to mention not having his family to lean heavily upon. What is my father said…pulling yourself up by your boot straps? 

Other issues have arisen because of the task that we’re undertaking since this is a household of 3(we have a friend who sublets our 2^nd floor that is also tired ofBowie) adults, 2 teenagers, 4 cats and a dog. Then there is the simplifying what we have. Today resembled the show, ‘Clean Sweep’. I had three piles of stuff, one being for keeping, one for throwing away and the other was to sale. No garage sales for this girl for I plan to put it by the curb and if someone wants it; take it…please.

Other issues are:

JOBS: No problem. I can transfer so I know income will still be coming in. Worry about the other later. The dh will have to begin looking though.

MONEY: We’ve already started selling things and squirreling away money. Estimation:$2000

HOUSING: Ah there’s the rub. We need a 4 bedroom house and the average large rental is only 3 bedroom. I just can’t see the girls sharing a room since school will be starting shortly after we arrive and one goes to bed early while the other tends to stay up to 1am. Then there is the reality that we’re going to have to drive down there just to scope out something and hopefully land something before we have to return.

I’m looking forward to the end result. To be on familiar ground surrounded by good friends once again, to be able to possibly turn my online shop into a physical one and to be around those of our faith which has not been possible here. Not to mention the fact that I don’t seem to have the serious allergy conditions there as I do here(big sigh of relief).

I’m happy. I’m dreading the process. I’m anticipating fights with the spouse. I’m worried about the money. As my daughter likes to state, ‘We’re going on an adventure.”

Getting ready for every rant, whine and cry that will come along in the next few months.